To illustrate what I mean by this, let me share an anecdote from my personal life. Many years ago, the woman I was dating had a girlfriend come into town, and the three of us went out to dinner together. And over the course of this meal, it became apparent that this woman didn't yet have a place to stay for the night. The woman I was seeing invited her to stay with her, but this woman's solution was to text a guy she had gone out with a few months ago. The plan was to meet him out for a drink, go back to his place, spend the night with him, and then get on with whatever it was that she came into town to do. Now the guy doesn't know this yet. This is just the woman's plan for the evening. When we expressed our concern, she tried to reassure us by saying, oh, it's fine. I don't really like this guy, so it's okay if I just use him for the night. And I remember turning to the woman I was with and jokingly asking her if she might try liking me a little less, bu...
Find your true north